...Bita history...
...now i went into some great trances during my propoganda-preaching classes. They gave me first-hand experience of zen-like eternity combined with second-hand information about who was killing who at the turn of the century. I shouldn't also point out that there were also times when neon-blue and scuzzy-yellow lines formed surreal shadows around horizontal objects in the classroom, but there you go. The point that eventually probed its way into/outof my cerebrum was this: Should schools be more than just a place where we are taught the meaning of boredom? Would it be existentially more extrapolable to place our foreheads together and hum continuosly for 8 hours, a friend asked. I venerated him and considered her (they were very flexible, and blessed in curious ways) the source of all knowledge and the asprin-cure for anarchy, until I found them breathing bacon and was forced to reconsider. At any rate, the further thought occured (while a thankfully sane history teacher just threw historically cultivated plants at those with the cleanest notepaper) that thinking this way might be over-rated, so I closed my door, told the world not to come in, and started seriously studying the greatest texts of our time. Jeffory Archer, cornflakes packets, cartoons about Kant, nothing was to heavy to not stick to my jam-covered fingers. Unfortunately I forgot to lock the door and the world came tumbling in.

...Hintellectual Hedonism??...

Having experimented briefly then with hintellectual hermitism, I was forced to leave the canteen sweet trolley and involve myself again with the various market researchers, line-drawers and pastel painters I met upon my way. Having picked up my way and shaken it, I found they stuck to it like fly paper, and finally gave up my search for a world containing just me and the anti-bodies. Great life discoveries were now afoot. Middling life discoveries turned out to be about 7 inches, and it shocked me deeply when the scientific world failed to see the relevance of this. I passed rapidly through the disciplines of Logical Positivism, Positive Dislogicalism and Pet-Minding. Having found my calling with the third I set out again heroically to find my hearing. It was lodged somewhere between my waxing and my waning, and so took some cleaning.

At any rate you never get anywhere. You have to pick a specific rate to move forward and that's often the tricky bit. Progression can also be achieved, but only if you start off with Amatuer-gression, which is more basic and less likely to complicate things. Still. That didn't work either. I have to move. I found that the moon was closely related to my horoscope, so I went to check it out. Once NASA turned me down I tried the more orthodox approach of having my signs read. The sign-reader assured me i was mad (she wasn't very good. She didn't get "danger falling rocks" or "Kangaroos crossing") and said I could consult anyone if I wanted an unprofessional opinion. Stubborn as I was at the time I refused to ask just anyone, and settled for asking myself. Fortunately I was in at the time, and was able to counsel me to explore the hitherto untouched world of Pluto. I, following the seventeenth law of humour, instructed myself to stick it up my Uranus and left home. We continued playing Monopoly for an interminable amount of time before I realised i was just killing time, and turned myself into the police. The police were most annoyed at me imitating them, and stopped me shortly after i'd arrested my first stray bin. Suspecting i was member of the IRA they quizzed me most thoroughly, but when it turned out I just didn't have any sort of irish accent (they checked on their computer just to be sure) they were forced to let me go, with a friendly bat on the back.

I would carry on with this story, but unfortunately the elliptical spin of the earth has completely thrown my calculations for the noise of one cheek slapping, so i'm forced, my sweet sweaters, to stop talking to us for the duration of the earth's existence. Apologies can be found everywhere except after political pledge-breaking...


Before I go though, consider this. Then consider that. Now consider how similar they are. Done that? Well then do this again. After that consider consider for homework. Now consider yourself lucky we didn't consider that before this then. That's always considerably harder.
(if you can't remember what consider means now then that won't help with this. Considering this then, having considered that now, this now can be considered as that then. If you think that's all there is to this then I suggest you reconsider, -or at the very least consider time as a pretzel while doing that-)

...

...but to continue...When answering imaginary interviews I use zen answers without rest, but if I’m not thinking that way I’ll pause and use nez answers. As soon as they discover sentences that go up and down as well as across we’ll be able to delve more deeply into thought’s dell, and the need for diagonal non-lines as well. However by that time East and West will have had to have met, so we may have some problems orientating ourselves. Please note I was not low enough to say Orienting ourselves, as much as I like the high ground of insensibility. Anyways, anytimes and anyflares you happen to be using may suddenly go out of date. Beware. Bewareholder. Bewhateveryouwant, so long as it doesn’t involve you having to be me for the duration. That would be inconvenient. Fortunately, as I’ve already explained, we are all really One, and as such it’s amazing we can move our legs at all. There will now be brief pausethere it was so brief you missed it. Now we all know that time is relative and watches proof to 10,000,000 fathoms are useless, cause time’s slower down there. If you weren’t under the impression you knew that let it impress itself upon you, as it’s one of many impressionable facts. But what about the systems we mould around our mouldy facts? Well, the tringing teacher-wire within me is fog-horning the opinion that all is known and just waits to be sown, but we all knew that since the day we were born, and also knew that it’s wrong, of course...


lots of foolish gullible hippy love n stuff,

Want more criminal proceedings? Why then come abuse me in my new tea trolley, at: hippywaster@hotmail.com

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